The Ultimate Audition Book for Teens, Volume 11 by Kristen Dabrowski

Author:Kristen Dabrowski
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Smith and Kraus Inc

LOATHING

BILL is suicidal and lonely. His sister, Lacey, wants desperately to save him, but he is lost in his own despair.

Leave me alone, Lacey. You don’t understand. Nobody does. You have hope. You have the possibility of a normal life. People accept you just as you are, and you don’t have to apologize for who you are or what you feel. You don’t have to keep secrets and be ashamed. I’m an abomination. I’m disgusting. I hate myself. Do you know what it feels like to think that you are destined to be alone for the rest of your life? That you are always going to be hated? That people can’t even stand looking at you? No one in my whole life will ever love me. Sure, people feel sorry for me sometimes. But pity is not love, and no one can love me. Just think about that for a minute. You will never have to feel this hopeless and empty. You can’t even imagine how bad this is. So leave me be. Let me do what I have to do. I’m sitting here in the garage for a reason, OK? This is the one peaceful thing I can do for myself. I want to be free of this life and this body. I want to sit in my car and just wait to die. If God is as good as people say, maybe the next life will be better than this one. It can’t be any worse.

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